How many Christians does it take to put in a light bulb?
Charismatics:
Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals:
Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness
Presbyterians
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic:
None. Candles only.
Baptists:
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve
the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians:
Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk
about how much better the old one was.
Mormons:
Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for
a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light
bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose
a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which
we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent,
fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid
paths to luminescence.
Methodists:
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are
loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide
lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a
covered dish.
Nazarene:
Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting
policy.
Lutherans:
None. We don't believe in change.
Amish:
What's a light bulb?
Jehovah's Witnesses:
Why do you think there are so many types of Light bulbs? Do you think we
will ever see a time when the whole world will use only one type of light
bulb? Mankind has tried many forms of Lighting haven't they, but do you
think this has improved the world's lighting situation? Would you like to
learn about a time under God's Kingdom when our light bulbs will not need
changing because they will last forever?
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