Barnets godhed kommer indefra, ikke fra den voksne
Du vil helst finde din moral selv - det vil barnet også. Her nogle
visdomsord derom - min indskudte moraliseren kan du skumlæse hen over.!
-----------------
Vi har ambitioner på vore børns vegne, og dygtige opdragere som Mozarts far,
kan fremprovokere "bæredygtige vidunderbørn", men ofte er det et blindspor
at pæse barnet til imponerende præstationer. Genierne falder over hinandens
ben:
"If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing
but geniuses. Goethe
Når planerne med vore børn slår fejl, så må vi ty til snobbede idealer og vi
undskylder alt med "forpligtelse" overfor fine børneopdragelses-idealer:
"We justify our vices, compromises and snobberies by protesting: 'It's for
the children's sake.' Anton Chekhov
Fædre skuffes ofte , og der opstår gnidninger
Fjernere voksenpersoner i barnets liv undgår lettere, at idealerne blir
slidt op:
"There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather
who does not adore his grandson. Victor Hugo
Popularitets-søgningens onde circler, er årsag til mange nederlag hos
opdragere - - resignerende accept af, at børn er* deres egne*,
og at børn *ikke belønner forældres kærlighed*, kan være på sin plads ("
Elsk din skæbne"):
" No man has ever lived that had enough, / Of children's gratitude
or woman's love. William Butler Yeats
Fordi den gode bæredygtige moral BØR KOMME INDEFRA, kan det være klogt ikke
at give alt for ambitiøse råd, når dit barn smigrer dig med at spørge dig
til råds:
"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out
what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry Truman
Opofrende forældre skuffes og bliver bitre og gør skade - de mere beskedne
vil undertiden "revse" og forløbe sig, og lad os ikke rette overdriven
dømmesyge mod disse:
" If you love your children you will slap them sometimes, if you
love your wife you will leave her sometimes. Malay
Proverb
Civilisationen er kompliceret - vi skaber ofte ulykkesfugle, der søger
ulykken, hvis vi overdocerer advarsler mod ulykker:
"The fault no child ever loses is the one he was most punished for.
Cesare Beccaria
"A burnt child loves the fire. Oscar Wilde
Børn med skyldfølelse har det dårligt, den livsglade Luther krydrede sine
moralprædikener med en tiltrængt vits "Synd tappert":
"A child becomes an adult, when he realizes that he has a right not only to
be right but also to be wrong Th Szasz
Den voksnes "synd" kan være at bruge autoritet - fx nægte bil-brug (eller
lukke luften ud af dækkene for at holde barnet hjemme!)
"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere
pleasant-and let the air out of the tires Dorothy Parker.
"Between a man and his wife nothing out to rule but love. Authority is for
children and servants, yet not without sweetness. William Penn
STOP HER, hvis præk&citater var nok - NÆSTE TI fyndord er mindre tæt
tilknyttet "moralen: godheds skal komme indefra" og de SIDSTE TI er meget
fjernere:
"Pity is not natural to man. Children always are cruel. Savages are always
cruel. Samuel Johnson 1701-1763
"All children are essentially criminal. Denis
Diderot(1713-84)
" A child is not a vase to be filled , but a fire to be lit Fr
Rabelais
" If you strike a child take care that you strike it in anger even at
the risk of maiming it for life.A blow in cold blood neither can nor should
be forgiven GB Shaw.
" The irritating thing about ungoverned children is that they often
make as orderly and valuable men and women as do the other kind.
Mark Twain
"You can do anything with children
if you only play with them. Prince Otto von Bismarck
"Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.
Rabbinical saying
" Du kan give dine børn din kærlighed, men ikke dine tanker, for de
har deres egen tanker.
Du kan huse deres kroppe, men ikke deres sjæle,
for deres sjæle bor i morgendagens hus
som du ikke kan opsøge, ikke engang i dine drømme. Kahlil
Gibran
" Jeg er altid villig til at lære, selv om jeg ikke bryder mig om
at blive undervist. Winston Churchill
"The first idea that the child must acquire, in order to be actively
disciplined, is that of the difference between good and evil;and the task of
the educator lies in seeing that the child does notconfound good with
immobility, and evil with activity ... our aim is to discipline for
activity, for work, for good; not for immobility, not for passivity, not for
obedience. Montessori
"My mother loved children-she would have given anything if i had been one.
Groucho Marx
..
To a hoarding father succeeds an extravagant son.
Spanish Proverb
Psychiatry's chief contribution to philosophy is the discovery that the
toilet is the seat of the soul. Alexander
Chase
"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of children" W
M Thackeray
As soon as a child has left the room his strewn toys become affecting.
Emerson
The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It
requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must
help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent.
Erich Fromm
Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.
Rabbinical saying
Beat your child once a day. If you don't know why, he does. Chinese
proverb
Children are unpredictable.You never know what inconsistency they're going
to catch you in next. Franklin P Jones.
We all wish to be of importance in one way or another. The child coughs with
might and main, since it has no other claim on the company.
Emerson
If parents discover in their child a fanciful wein, they should stiffle and
suppress it"John Locke 1632-1704, opponent of all dogmatism, pioneer
preacher of tolerance towards everything new among the grownups - but one
thing should not be allowed: to imagine that there was no God!
Repentance is for little children. Adolph Eichmann
In early youth, as we contemplate our coming life, we are like children in a
theatre before the curtain is raised, sitting there in high spirits and
eagerly waiting for the play to begin. Schopenhauer
Hele livet opleves på ny i barnet. Nu forstår man også bedre sit eget liv .
Søren Kierkegaard
Barn foruden riis sjelden bliver viis.
Jeg var et sky, grimt barn, som levede mit eget fantasiliv. Jeg troede, jeg
var en engel, sendt fra himlen for at kurere polio Da så dr. Salk gjorde
det, blev jeg skide ked af det. Cher
In early youth, as we contemplate our coming life, we are like children in a
theatre before the curtain is raised, sitting there in high spirits and
eagerly waiting for the play to begin. Schopenhauer
My father was frightended of his mother, I was frightened of my
father, and I am damned well going to see to it that my children are
frightened of me George V
All childre are snobs, and the aristocracy of childhood is age.
Duff Cooper
He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune.
Francis Bacon
I have certainly known more men destroyed by the desire to have a wife and
child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink
and harlots. William Butler Yeats
In the mind of a woman, to give birth to a child is the short cut to
omniscience. Gelett Burgess
--
Bo Warming
Bjelkes Alle 46
2200 København N
Tel: 3586 1000
Fax: 001 815 364 4235
http://www.glistrup.com