I er nu ikke helt dumme til de der vittigheder, jeg havde også læst den der med BMWèn:
Camillasmoster Dato : 03-11-06 20:03
Syntes den er skidegod, men vidste ikke hvor jeg kunne finde den, ellers havde jeg sat den ind.
Har faktisk selv lavet en hjemmeside med vittigheder, som jeg lavede for flere år siden.
http://home.tiscali.dk/8x051762/
Den har været besøgt over 75000 gange, det er sku da ikke så dårlig, hva. Og så er det endda en udbyder som jeg havde, hvor man skulle op på 200kr i forbrug før man får regning, ha ha. Mindst 5 år siden, jeg har ikke brugte 200 endnu, og har mistet koden for flere år siden.
Nu bør man jo reklamere lidt for sin egen hjemmeside, og der er da også en enkelt med ferrari involveret, men da mange af vittighederne er lidt vovede, kan vi jo tage et uddrag af 3 engelske, så kan vi jo håbe, i ikke kan forstå dem:
"The Rich Hooker"
There was a hooker who lived in a condo on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago.
One time she had a client in her condo and he asked her if
she gave good hand jobs. She said, "Do you see this condo we're in? I
bought it by giving good hand jobs." So her trick told her to give him
a hand job. After the hooker gave the man a hand job he asked her if
she gave good blow jobs. She said, "Look out the window. See that red
ferrari on the street? I bought it giving good blow jobs." So her
trick told her to give him a blow job. When she was done, the man
asked her if she was good in bed. She said, "Look out this window. See
that big yacht out there on Lake Michigan? I could own that if I had a
pussy."
*
"Make Fido Talk"
A young man goes off to college, but about a third of the way through
the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave
him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?"
Then he gets an idea. He calls his father. "Dad," he says, "you won't
believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,
they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in
that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into
the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again. "So how's Fido doing, son?" his father
asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just
won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program,
that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals to read!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him
in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." So
his father sends the money.
At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home,
his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he
shoots the dog. When he gets home,his father is all excited. "Where's
Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read
something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning when I got
out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicked back in the
recliner reading the morning paper, like he usually does.
Then he turned to me and asked, 'So,is your daddy still messin' around
with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' "The father yells,
"Oh, shit! I hope you SHOT that lyin' son-of-a-bitch!!!" "Sure did,
Dad!"
*
"Thermometer"
A beautiful, young lady about 17 went to a doctor and asked for a
check-up. The doctor claimed that he had to use a thermometer for the
check-up. So the doctor asked her "Where shall I put the thermometer?"
and the girl replied "...uh ...not in my mouth, Doc. I might swallow
it." Okay...let's try your armpit." the doctor suggested. "Well, it
might tickle me, doc. How about my butt?" the girl answerd. "Okay
then," so he put the thing in the girls butt.
Later, the girl while giggling exclaimed "that's not my butt, doc!"
and the doctor replied, "it's not the thermometer either."
*
VH Palle Hansen