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Djævlens advokat om at se ud, ej være

Ambrose Bierce havde læst Nietzsche og havde et skarpt blik for
hvordan respekterede følelser og fænomener i virkeligheden hykler og
dækker over noget usympatisk
En samtidig amerikaner, Mark Twain, havde samme budskab, som var i
tiden, men var specialiseret i historiefortælling

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American Journalist and Author


Alliance: I internatinoal politik pagten mellem to tyve, som
har deres hænder sådybt plantet i hinandens lommer, at de
ikke enkeltvis kan plyndre en tredje. Ambrose Bierce
Kedelig kaldes en person, som kun vil tale, når du vil have, at han
skal høre efter.Ambrose Biercce
Begejstring: en uro som optræder i ungdommen, der kan helbredes med
små doser anger og erfaring. Ambrose Bierce
Nuet - den del evigheden, der skiller skuffelsens område fra håbets
rige. Ambrose Bierce
Opiate, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into
the jail yard.Ambrose bierce
En populær forfatter skriver, hvad folk tænker. Et geni indbyder dem
til at tænke noget andet. Ambrose Bierce
Achievement, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust. Bierce
Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but
not well enough to lend to.Bierce
Knowledge - The small part of ignorance that we arrange and
classify.Bierce
Lykke mistes, når den kritiseres, sorg når den accepteres.Ambrose
Bierce
Lykke= en behagelig følelse, der opstår ved at betragte andres ulykke.
Ambrose Bierce
Patience - a minor form of despair disguised as virtue.Ambrose Bierce
Mænd taler om at vælge en kvinde - heste om at vælge en ejer.
!Ambrose Bierce
Selv om man elsker et dusin gange, vil den sidste kærlighed synes den
første. Den, der siger, at han har elsket to gange, har aldrig
elsket.Ambrose Bierce
Fidelty. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Ambrose Bierce
Høflighed - den mest acceptable form for hykleri.Ambrose Bierce
Beundring: den høflige agtelse for andre mennesker, der ligner en
selv.Ambrose Bierce
I at tilgive en fornærmelse er der noget højtideligt, med mindre din
ædelmodighed fortolkes som ligegyldighed.Ambrose Bierce
Kedelig kaldes en person, som kun vil tale, når du vil have, at han
skal høre efter.Ambrose Bierce
Beundring: den høflige agtelse for andre mennesker, der ligner en
selv. Ambrose Bierce
Der findes fire slags mord: forbryderiske, undskyldelige, retfærdige
og rosværdige. Denne klassificering tjener juristerne. For de
myrdede er den ligegyldig. Ambrose Bierce
There are four kinds of murder: criminal, excusable, rightfull and
praiseworthy. This classification serves the lawyers. To the murdered
it makes no difference.Ambrose Bierce
The alliance: In international politics, the agreement between two
thieves, who has their hands so deeply planted in eachothers pockets,
that they cannot rob a third part aloneAmbrose Bierce
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.Ambrose Bierce
Rebel, a proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish
it.Ambrose Bierce
Den lille del af uvidenhed, som vi kan opstille og klassificere,
kalder vi viden. Ambrose Bierce
Kedelig kaldes en person, som kun vil tale, når du vil have, at han
skal høre efterAmbrose Bierce
Hvad teologi er for religionen og jura for retfærdigheden,det er
etikette for høfligheden.Ambrose Bierce
Education; that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the
foolish their lack of understanding.Ambrose Bierce
Meekness, n. Uncommon patiemce in planning a revenge that is wort
while.Ambrose Bierce.


Mark Twain    (Samuel L. Clemens)   1835-1910
Vi er alle ens - på indersiden. Mark Twain

ff   Forskellen mellem det primitive og det civiliserede menneske.
er at den ene er malet og den anden er forgyldt. MarkTwain (Samuel L.
Clemens)   1835-1910
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.       Mark
Twain
Samvittigheden er en kværulerende, overkritisk, bidsk satan - altid
ond imod en af vore uvæsentlige karaktertræk, som den kalder en fejl.
Jeg vil bytte min for en hvilken som helst sygdom". Mark Twain
En klassiker er noget, som alle ville have læst, men som ingen vil
læse. Mark Twain
   Læs
   Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.Mark Twain
Det eneste, man behøver i livet, er dumhed og troen på sig selv, så er
succesen givet. Mark Twain
Lad os bestræbe os på at leve sådan, at selv bedemanden vil blive ked
af det, når vi dør.   Mark Twain
ff   The only very marked diferrence between the average civilized
man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other
painted. .Mark Twain
ff   There are many humorous things in the world, among them the
white man's consception that he is a lesser savage than the other
savages.Mark Twain
ff   There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of
ability in concealing them. Mark Twain
lø   A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is
putting on its shoes.Mark Twain
lø   If you tell the truth you do not have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
vki   We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. .
Mark Twain
lø   The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are
sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a
lie told well is inmortal. Mark Twain
lø   There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them
has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against
thy neighbor. Mark Twain
lø   When Mark Twain was introduced as the man who had said, "When
it doubt, tell the truth", he replied that he had invented the maxim
for others but that when in doubt for himself, he used more sagacity.
..Mark Twain
lø   Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some.
41, I think it is". Mark Twain
meIf you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you. This is the principal difference between dog and man.Mark
Twain
me   By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another
man's.Mark Twain
mg   Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like
blackmail; the more you pay the more is exacted. In time, you are made
to realize that the kindness done you is become a curse and you wish
it had not happened. .Mark Twain
mr   Ethical man -- a Christian holding four aces.Mark Twain
mr   How I do hate those enemies of the human race, who go around
enslaving God's free people with pledges - to quit drinking instead of
to quit wanting to drink. Mark Twain
mr   Morals are an aquirement - like music, like a foreign
language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them.Mark
Twain
mr   Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.Mark Twain
mr   Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs
a million.Mark Twain
ms   "There are people who can do all fine and heroic things, but
one: keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy" Mark Twain
ms   `Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a
good example.Mark Twain
ms   Be good and you will be lonesome. Mark Twain
ms   Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all
things to get himself envied. .Mark Twain
ra   Being abroad has something of the same sense that death
brings. I am no longer of you - what ye say of me is now of no
consequence. Mark Twain
ra
ra   Everybody's private moto: It's better to be popular than
right. .Mark Twain
ra   I alle meningsspørgsmål er vore modstandere altid unormale.
Mark Twain
ra   In Boston they ask, How much does he know? In New York, How
much is he worth? In Philadelphia, Who were his parents?Mark Twain
ra   Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us
could not succeed.Mark Twain
ra   Menneskets natur forguder succes. Den har kun foragt til
overs for nederlag. Mark Twain
ra   The human race consists of the damned and the ought to be
damned. .Mark Twain
ra   Vi beundrer titler og arvelige privilegier i vore hjerter, og
latterliggør dem med vor mund. Det er et demokratisk privilegie
ra   When we do a liberal and gallant thing,
it is but natural, that we should wish to see notice taken of it.
..Mark Twain
rg   Fear God and dread the sunday school' exactly describe that
old feeling I used to have, but I couldn't have formulated it. .Mark
Twain
rg   India has 2000000 gods and worships them all. In religion all
countries are paupers and India is the only millionaire. Mark Twain
rg   The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion
is folly, teaches me to suspect that my own is also. Mark Twain
rg   The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion
is folly,
teaches me to suspect that my own is also. .Mark Twain
rg   There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him
frivolous and shallow. Yet it was the schoolboy who said, " Faith is
believing what you know ain't so'.Mark Twain
rg   "God works through man…just about as much as a man works
thorough his microbes. Mark Twain.
rgh   Etiquette requires us to admire the human race. .Mark Twain
rgh   The noblest work of God? Man. Who found it out? Man. . Mark
Twain
rgh   The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious
possession, what there is of it Mark Twain
vre   The spirit of whrath - not the words - is the sin; and the
spirit of whrath is cursing. We begin to swear before we can talk.
..Mark Twain
sa   To ask a docter's opinion about osteopathy is equivalent to
going to Satan for information about Christianity. Mark Twain
sh   A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark
Twain
sh   In his private heart no man much respects himself.Mark Twain
sh   Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. Mark Twain
sh   Man kan sikre sig andre menneskers accept ved at gøre det
rigtige og ved at anstrenge sig, men at sikre selv-accept er hundred
gange vigtigere og der er ingen enkel opskrift. Twain
si   A man with at new idea is a Crank, till the idea succeds. Mark
Twain
si   If a man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a Crank and
that settles it.
I mean it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him. Mark Twain
si   One of the commonest forms of madness is the desire to be
noticed, the pleasure derived from being noticed. Perhaps it is not
merely common, but universal. .Mark Twain
si   The human race consists of the dangerously insane and such as
are not. .Mark Twain
si   When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear
and life stands explained. Mark Twain
Sv   Hvis jeg havde en hund, der skabte sig så meget som min
samvittighed, ville jeg drukne den. Mark Twain
sv      Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this
is the ideal lifeMark Twain
sv   sv   All the consciences I have ever heard of were nagging,
badgering, fault-finding, execrable little savages! Yes: and always in
a sweat about some poor little insignificant trifle or other -
destruction catch the lot of them, I say!
I would trade mine for the small-pox and seven kinds of consumption,
and be glad of the change. Mark Twain
sv   Conscience is that mysterious autocrat, lodged in man, which
compells man to content its desires.It may be called "the
master-passion" - the hunger for self-aproval. Mark Twain
sv   If I had the remaking of man, he wouldn't have any conscience.
It is one of the most disagreable things connected with a person, and
allthough it certainly does a great deal of good, it cannot be said to
pay, in the long run. It would be much better to have less good and
more comfort. Mark Twain


dd   Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may
still exist but you have ceased to live. Mark Twain
ddå   Civilisation er den uafladelige formering af unødvendige
nødvendigheder. Mark Twain
ddå   Civilizations is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary
necessities. .Mark Twain
ddå   Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope
tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. Mark Twain
ddå   The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious
possession, what there is of it. .Mark Twain
fæ   Det irriterende ved uhæmmede børn er, at de ofte bliver lige
så ordentlige og værdifulde mænd og kvinder, som de velopdragne. Mark
Twain
ud   Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
MARK TWAIN (S.L.CLEMENS)
ud   Jeg har den dybeste medlidenhed med den som kun har fantasi
til at stave et ord på een mådeMark Twain
ud   Vil du lære dine børn at regne, så giv dem lommepenge, men
ikke lige meget til alle i søskendeflokken! . Mark Twain
ud   At være god er ædelt, men at undervise andre i, hvordan de
skal være gode, er ædlere - og mindre besværligt.Mark Twain
uf   Man lærer ikke at spille hvis man spiller med plastikbrikker i
stedet for rigtige penge. Mark Twain
uf   There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably
desirable. Mark Twain
gl   There are several good protections against temptations, but
the surest is cowardice. .Mark Twain
hg   Love seem the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths.
No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been
married a quarter of a century.Mark Twain
hm   Everyone has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
..Mark Twain
hu   Humorens hemmelige kilde er ikke glæde men sorg Der er ingen
humor i Himlen.Mark Twain
   hu   The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
There is no humor in heaven.Mark Twain
hu   There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult
kind - the humorous.Mark Twain
jø   Antisemitisme er pygmæ-sindenes hovne misundelse og usselhed.
Mark Twain
kkvo   I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge
me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him
to a quiet place and kill him.'Mark Twain hædsVo   Jeg er meget
imod dueller. Hvis nogen skulle udfordre mig, ville jeg jærligt og
forsonende tage ham ved hånden og føre ham ud til et fredeligt sted og
slå ham ihjel. Mark Twain

Når krig,    OM KRIGS BEGRUNDELSE:   Dernæst vil statsmændene
opfinde billige løgne, som kaster skylden på det land, der er blevet
angrebet, og enhver vil være taknemmelig for disse forfalskninger,
fordi de dulmer den dårlige samvittighed, og man vil tilegne sig dem
og afvise at undersøge afvisninger af dem. På den måde vil man
efterhånden overbevise sig selv om, at krigen er retfærdig, og man vil
takke Gud for at kunne sove meget bedre efter denne gang groteske
selvbedrag. Mark Twain
hs   Menneskene har udelukket det seksuelle samvær af deres himmel.
Og erstattet det med bønnen.Mark Twain
uh   Vi har ikke den ærbødige indstilling til regnbuen, som
naturfolkene har, fordi vi ved, hvordan den opstår. Vi har mistet lige
så meget, som vi har vundet, ved at fravriste den dens
hemmelighed.Mark Twain
vi   (Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.)Mark
Twain
vi   Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after
all, has to make sense. Mark Twain
vi   You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out
of focus.Mark Twain
na   In the beginning the patriot is a scarce man, brave, hated,
and scorned. When his cause succeeds the timid join him, for then it
costs nothing to be a patriot.Mark Twain
ak   To be busy is a man's only happiness. .Mark Twain
al   Da jeg var 14 fandt jeg min far uvidende og kunne ikke holde
ham ud - men da jeg blev 21 blev jeg forbløffet over så meget han
havde lært på de 7 år. Mark Twain
bsk   Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of
ourselves and how little we think of other persons. Mark Twain
bsk   Modesty died when clothes were born.Mark Twain
ch   Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any
man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time. .Mark Twain
co   It is not best that we should all think alike; it is
difference of opinion which makes horse races.Mark Twain
cr   Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in any
copyright law on the planet. . Mark Twain
cx   Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.Mark Twain
sp   He liked to like people. And therefore people liked him. Mark
Twain
   Min mor havde mange genvordigheder med mig, men jeg tror hun
nød det. Mark Twain (1835-1910
   Noget af det sværeste at affinde sig med, er et godt eksempel.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Tom Sawyer skulle male et kæmpe plankeværk for sin tante og det var
varmt og han var træt og kun kvart færdig. Så kom hans
klassekammerater en efter en for at se, hvad han lavede, og "den kloge
narrer den mindre kloge" - han fortalte dem, at maleri var fornemt og
dyrt at få lov til, og hvis de betalte ham, måtte de få lov at male et
stykke af plankeværket. En efter en betalte de for at lette hans tunge
job! - markedsfrihedens lyksaligheder slog gnister - udbud efter
manuelt arbejde med resultatglæde er for lille, så hvorfor ikke
benytte sig af den store efterspørgsel og tage sig det betalt. Man
kan hævde at "de dumme" der fik lov mod betaling at male, blev slet
ikke "narret" for de nød det. Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome.       Mark Twain    Jeg
foragter hundeejere - de tør ikke selv bide. Mark Twain

   At være god er ædelt, men at undervise andre i, hvordan de
skal være gode, er ædlere - og mindre besværligt.      Mark
Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people´s habits. .      Mark
Twain

When we do a liberal and gallant thing,
it is but natural, that we should wish to see notice taken of it.
..Mark Twain